Arranging a Marriage in India Serena Nanda

Arranging a Marriage in India

Serena Nanda

b. Write the four levels of meaning to "Arranging a Marriage in India"

Literary Comprehension: As a professor of Anthropology from New York, Serena Nanda has highlighted the significance and cultural exercise of arranged marriages. Serena Nanda visited and experienced a lot about the ethical values and exercises of arranged marriage in India. According to the writer, after the parents have fixed about the matrimonial decision the boy and girl are given a chance to have a short meeting for conversation. Lookingthis, writer felt offensive one. For her happy marriage can create romantic love in love marriage. The girl (would be bride) feels to her would be life partner a stranger selected by her patents. The writer feels surprise how can one get married with person in a first meeting without knowing interpersonal characters attitudes etc. The writer compares between America and India and finds that unlike American in India there is no high anxiety of the compaction to be popular among youths.

The writer is disagree with arranged marriage on the ethics of individualism and romanticism. But when she interviews with a girl (Sita), she highlights the colorful, romantic, funny life after arranged marriage. If we know everything before marriage no charm left. The writer compares the situation of married couples in India with America there is process to divorce in /America. The writer herself participated in matchmaking too. Family reputation is a matter of great value in India Through directly or indirectly dowry is in exercise even if law has prohibited it. Gift providing culture is in exercise to make happy to bride and bridegroom's families. In Indian marriage system divorce is still a scandal but it is a common phenomenon in United States. There is hardly quarrel among family members. Sometimes due to long-term process of arranging marriage it can be cancelled. Sometimes social clubs become responsible in arranging marriage in India too. While being in India and US the writer involved in different match makings where she got different experiences of profit and loss of arranged marriage. Nanda got more feedback from her friends' relation pointing out the hurriedness and quick process of marriage as well as divorce in United States which is not in India. But ruin in marriage by any cause in India is matter of pain to spouses their families and relatives in general. For the process of match making by herself the writer came to India. She found that after a long process and ups and downs a suitable marriage was taken place. The writer was too much surprise being a successful matchmaker by the last. She has changed her previous mind completely from love marriage to great significance of the arranged marriage. Her mind has been changed from the experience, interactions with individuals and her friends at last.

Interpretation: This essay might be trying to highlight the concept and importance of arranged marriage. In comparison the western system of loge marriage has ample of drawbacks. Marriage always as a private affair is not correct and suitable. The writer Serena Nanda herself experienced about deep-rooted ethics and ideal scopes of the cultural arranged marriage vested in India. According to Indian cultural system, the concept of culture, morality, status like so many aspects are presented unquestionably. It has also compared overall the matrimonial experiences and processes of marriages of United States and India. This essay has prioritized the more significant role and value, of arranged marriage system that makes married life full of fun,discovery of newness and long lasting. It has also pointed the short lasting, less funny and less romantic love marriage comparing to arrange marriage.

Critical Thinking: This essay has given special attention to the grand value of arranged marriage. The American writer Serena Nanda has made a nice comparison and colored the Indian cultural marriage processes. We can be agree with the permanency of married life, absence of rogue of divorce, ample sources of newness and socio-culture politico-economic status of this marriage system. Still some questions can be raised about which we are disagree with the writer's view.

a.      How can we be agree to get married with the person whom we meet first time?

b.      How can we understand character and attitude of someone in a short conversation?

c.       Can we sacrifice out to the parents' decision?

d.      Are all married couples in United States get divorced?

Still we can't deny the moral and productive ethics of arranged marriage exercised in India.

Assimilation: After reading this essay I learn the concept that through marriage is widely taken as a private affair and via love process, the value of arranged marriage is more than this. If we arrange well and select with all criteria, the married couples can have funny, romantic and permanent married life that hardly will. Face any divorce. I started to have faith on arranged marriage on ward reading this text. I also got a lot of ethical values existed in arranged marriages exercised in India.

c. Are most Nepali marries still arranged? Marriages

Or

What are your views on the subject of arranged marriage?

Nepal has still a large scope of arranged marriage whether it is bad or good culture. Most of Nepali marriages are taken as the arranged pattern. For this system westerners who mostly follow love marriage may feel odd and surprised. Arranged marriage is suitable and common phenomena in Nepali context.

No doubt, in the name of arranged marriage there would be couple(boy and girl) are not given chance to meet and spend time together beforehand. Sometimes the married life can't be happy and satisfactory because there is no chance to share and understand each other's interests, likes and dislikes. A changing picture can be seen that there is a system of giving chance to have short discussion and self-decision to the candidates. Again, in term of after married life durability there are less rates of divorced couples in Nepal like countries. This problem seems very higher disagree in western countries where love marriage is mostly selected.

Arranged marriage is always not good because all arranged marriages are not systematically arranged. The marriage which we see in exercise in Indian culture has more advantages and least disadvantages. My opinion about arranged marriage is fully positive because our family and neighbors seem happy and satisfied under arranged marriage system. There is trust and more responsibility between couple and future care for upcoming children. As there is total freedom in love marriage, sometimes such love marriages may have problem of divorce and mistrust. Again, all the arranged marriages are always not fitted and apt. The marriage where participants are educated, candidates are awarded and marriage bond is understandably matched this can be an ideal example of arranged marriage. I also like to support such marriage system.

There can be a question: How can a woman always be puppet in the hand of husband in arranged marriage? How can woman get freedom and choice in arranged marriage? , etc. But the arranged marriage becomes the best when all people are too much careful about class, standard, culture, education and others. Lastly, I can say that over freedom in love marriage is poisonous and over restriction in arranged marriage can't be nectar (honey) either.

d. The essay "Arranging a Marriage in India" recounts writer's (Dr. Nanda's) personal and intellectual journey with gradual change from her experiences and observation. Explain.

The writer Dr. Nanda has visited to India first time. She was quite surprised knowing that mostly the marriages were arranged in India. That concept of arranged marriage was unacceptable and offensive to her. But slowly and gradually when she talked with her Indian friends, collage graduate girl like Sita and others, she changed her mind. The writer made a comparison among American married couple’s marriageable youth who are much worrying in making popular to opposite sex. But the situation if India was totally different. The logical statement made by collage girl, Sita made the writer more convinced. Sita said Americans don't have charm, fun, romance and curiosity in marriage because they have already known everything before marriage. There remains nothing new and surprising to married couple after the marriage. But the life is always full of excitement, fun, beauty and surprise in the couples arranged marriage in India. The importance of family and away from the problem of divorce disease in Indian marriage system made the writer to be convinced.

Again, the writer met a number of unmarried youths in India and got the ideas that Indian teenagers were far much happier than Americans. The writer got impressed that while marriage was arranged class, caste, level, prestige, education and independence all are considered carefully. Another point that stroke writer much was the remark that Americans do everything in hurry, so marriage is also done quickly and get divorced quickly as well. When the writer herself became to be a matchmaker.by looking all these aspects she convinced herself and change her negative thinking to arranged marriage. When the writer compared between two cultures and marriage systems and found more advantages in Indian marriage system she changed her mind. This mental change is not abrupt rather gradually on the basis of her experiences and observations.